Ok I still haven't had any of those knock-your socks off kicks that people talk about, and I doubt I'll get them. Now that Speetus is crowded up in there, so it's more like uncomfortable squirming. It's pretty constant, though, and the child is a light sleeper! Every time I get up to pee I spend the next ten minutes feeling the squirms and shifts and weird, what-the-hell-was-that pointy bits moving across my insides.
I haven't felt (or identified) the infamous Braxton-Hicks contractions yet, either. Or if I have, I have confused them with Speetus's alien-like twisting in there.
This brings me to my kind of weird confession: I am not worried about labor. Like, at all. Like, I worry about how I should worry more about it.
But I feel confident with our doula and our midwife and my own ability to get through it. I have a high tolerance for pain and an ability to endure discomfort. I have a coping mechanism: I count. I know that it is 100 steps per short block and 300 per long block and that if I am walking with two 18-lb. boxes of cat litter, it is about 300 steps from the pet store to my house, and those steps get behind me one at a time. I know that there are 11 flights of stairs-- 132 steps-- between the R train and the exit of the F train, all of which I have to go up and down every single stinking day. I once spent a blisteringly cold (We're talking 4 degrees some mornings. Four.) winter in Boston running 5 miles every day with a broken fibula-- which I didn't find out about until years later when I broke the tibia in the same leg by running on a stress fracture. Which is to say, pain is an adaptive response and I am a bit maladapted in that respect.
But a part of it, too, is that I never had serious period cramps (you can throw things at your computer, it won't hit me) and I can't really imagine what labor pain feels like. I can't quite wrap my head around it when all the books say, "It will hurt like a mothaf---a." (in not so many words.) I know I am missing something. I know I should be worried. I know Speedy is. But I am all, "tra la la...what kind of music dy'all think I should play?" Are you all just sitting out there like, "Duh-- can't wait to see how this goes down! She's not going to know what hit her!"
OK, you pain-dealing with fool! I think labor will go awesome for you, and the fact that you're not worried or scared will totally work in your favor. I think fear and tenseness are your biggest enemies with labor pain (which, obv disclaimer, I haven't actually felt). Being not worried is a totally good thing, in my opinion. How high can you count?
ReplyDeleteI get terrible cramps, and used to be pretty debilitated for 1 or 2 days per cycle until I discovered those stick on heat things you put in your underwear. They completely changed my quality of life during my period.
shhhh...but i kind of feel the same way..i know pain, like bi-annual migraine-throwing-up-pounding-head-want-to-die pain as well as a pretty rough bout of dengue fever the year I lived in India when all I could do is lay in soaking sheets for a week WISHING i was dead (they don't call it brake-bone fever for nothing)..thats all to say, I'm totally down with going inward, and releasing myself from the external stimuli of pain. I do want to be "present" for the process of pluty's birth, but if it gets all too much, im pretty confident in my ability to curl inside my shell and let is all happen. And for that reason, the whole "labor thing" is not something i'm dreading at all..but then again, i still have 11 weeks of procrastination, ur..preparation...
ReplyDeleteClearly never been there, but...I have several friends who had very "easy" births without painful labor, so hopefully you'll be in the group! I agree that not-being-anxious is a good thing. If it's a rude awakening, so be it. You'll get through it one way or another!
ReplyDeleteHa ha!! I love your humor in this post. Ive NEVER experienced cramps ever in my life from my period. Even when I was in highschool, I would be in gym moving along as if I wasnt on it. I too have a high tolerance for pain. So Im definitely keeping an eye out to see how this pans out for you. I love the tra la la you have about it all. Some people worry too much, pain or no pain I know that you will take it all in stride.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I have been there, and as someone who has, all I can say is you just never know. I think your counting strategy is going to be super helpful. Make sure that you tell at least one other person about this so that you'll be reminded to do it should you get panicked at any point. Having no fear about it is definitely a good thing because fear does tense us up and keep us from opening up.
ReplyDeleteAs for what the pain feels like--hard to say. For me it felt like an alien life form was boring through the small of my back while rubber bands tightened around my belly, which isn't anything what my period cramps feel like, so yeah--hard to prepare for that!
You're going to be great at this. It's an incredible and mysterious and beautiful and sometimes scary roller coaster with the best ending ever, so no need for fear--just ride it.
I have to admit while reading I was like "Oh just wait, woman!!!". I truly hope that your labor goes as smoothly as you're feeling it will. Just remember to keep an open mind. :D So excited that you're only 5 weeks away!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a similarly high pain tolerance, no menstrual cramps to speak of, and stoic personality, so maybe our experience of labor will be a little similar.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was very like having the flu. I shivered, was physically restless, threw up, and felt like my body was basically doing something totally outside my control to get something out. I was very vocal, but the yelling was about opening, not pain. I was not aware of much going on around me as all my attention was forced into the process. All three labors were different in some ways, but those aspects remained the same.
It is definitely one of those experiences that varies tremendously from woman to woman. I agree that your counting strategy will probably be helpful.
Well, it wasn't anything like I expected, or like what the books suggested. It was much easier until well into dilation (because I am good at ignoring pain) and then it was mind-shockingly hard. None of my usual pain-ignoring abilities worked at all well for late-stage labor. The one useful thing I knew at labor #2 was that I had to turn toward the pain and help my body go into the pain wholeheartedly. It felt like standing in front of a freight train coming at me and waving hello to the train with a big smile on my face. Wierd, huh?
ReplyDeleteI do think the counting will help a lot in early and mid-stage labor, as will your lack of fear. But the thing that will help you the most is running on a broken leg; you remember how that leg felt as you were warming up, and how you had to embrace the pain in order to run? That will help a lot!
I ended up with very different labors and very different levels of intervention - and I am proud of both of them. You will do great I think.
I wasn't worried either. I'm happy I didn't waste time worrying about it (a first in my life) because I ended up having a c-section!
ReplyDeleteI think with a doula and midwife you'll be fine. My doula was awesome for relaxation exercises. (:
I think its fine that you're not worried about it. Pain is mostly mental anyway. And I think thats especially true for childbirth- its not that it doesn't hurt, I just think we tend to underestimate our own abilities to DEAL with said pain. You're confident in yourself and I think it will only pay off in the end!
ReplyDeleteI think this is a good attitude. I mean, it's going to hurt. It's going to really hurt. But running 5 miles in 4 degrees on a broken fibula sounds like a more dreadful brand of pain to me than labor. And that was something you could have bailed out on partway! I envy you your high pain threshold.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely scared, but I'm mostly scared about things like tearing (a friend told me a story I wish I'd never heard) or something going wrong, not the pain itself, really. If it's unbearable - back labor, whatever - there are the drugs. And the hypnobirthing classes have helped - and there's a lot of counting in hypnobirthing and pranayama (which I also expect to use). Counting breaths. So you sound like you're set up. Labor, shmabor.
I will gladly trade you a pottery barn room for the lack of fear you have! I'm the opposite for sure. I'm nervous. No doubt about it. I think as we get closer I'm getting better but it has not completely gone away.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had the painful cramps and I'm usually a very relaxed person. This is going to be one hell of an experience though - and I know it!
Oh, I can't identify any Braxton Hicks either... Guess this baby is still just hanging out.
I was not overly worried about labor either, and I do not have a high threshold for pain. I just felt deep down, I would get through it, and if I needed medication, it was there. I tried to prepare myself mentally for it and to be ready for complications, but in the end it went almost exactly as I thought it would. I had an epidural as I had anticipated, the labor was very long. I was in labor for 20 hours before going to the hospital and getting the epidural. But really, I think I was a bit in denial, but it worked for me. I felt that not being stressed was more important and so I tried to prepare myself for how I would handle complications and we did the birth class and all, but I could listen to horrible labor stories all day long and still was not worried about my own labor. It worked. So it this not worrying works, go with it. Don't feel you need to be stressed about it. As long as you realize there are possible complications and are ready to accept things going different than you plan, you should be fine.
ReplyDeleteI think if you're not worried, great. It's going to be what it's going to be, no sense worrying about all the options. You can go ahead and laugh at the irony of my statement given that I worry about ALL possibilities for us right now. But it just seems crazy to worry if you're not worried, you know? Anyway, I think it's great and I love that you are feeling confident!
ReplyDeleteI do NOT have a high threshold for pain, but I didn't really figure that out until my first cervical check. I wasn't worried at all about labor either, I just figured whatever happened, would happen. AND we didn't have a birth plan.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I counted all the stairs in the subway when I was pregnant as well. I was horrified with how many there were!
I think it's a great attitude. Just chill.