tbean (and the turtles) asked: Are you planning on having more than one child?
The short answer is "no". We are not currently planning another child, as in, there is no time line or "next steps" outlined for after Speetus arrives.
Speedy is absolutely gung-ho on #2. I am more in the "Let's see how it goes" camp. One child means considerable upheaval, less disposable income, and lots more logistics in both daily running of the house and in terms of travel, long-term plans, etc. Two children? Well, then it is REALLY all about them. To me, one child feels more manageable, more balanced between Speedy & me and Speedytot. Two would tip the scales in favor of the children running the show. And everyone here must know by now I like to feel in control ;-)
I think this difference in opinion originates with how we grew up. Speedy grew up with twin sisters, and even though they did not always get along, they were a united front. They were safety in numbers, known allies in the face of outside threats. I grew up with an older brother, who was my chief tormentor and rarely an ally. He and I get along now, but I have never felt like the relationship I had with him was some cornerstone of my existence. On the contrary: I remember the near-drownings and scary physical fights, the social sadism, and how he and his friends would make me so nervous I would literally throw up. (One really embarrassing aside: I had to walk THROUGH my brother's grade 6 class to get to my grade 4 classroom, and on one occasion, he started taunting me just as soon as I walked through the doors. By the time I got into the corridor to walk past the gauntlet he had formed with his friends, I was so nervous I threw up twice-- strawberries and oatmeal if I recall correctly--and kept walking right through it to make my exit as quickly as possible!). So the "Speetus needs a sibling" argument holds no water with me.
But it is possible that Speetus comes out and I fall so in love with him/her that I instantly want to do this all over again, and if that is the case, I will not out-of-hand dismiss the possibility. I just refuse to commit at this moment.
If Speedytot is a girl, I'd be more inclined to consider #2, not because we'd be "trying for a boy" or anything like that, but because, regardless of the sex of #2, I would not want to replicate the older brother experience I had, and having the firstborn be a girl would allay that concern.
Oh wow, you poor thing. That sounds awful. My older sister was never that bad to me, although we fought like cats and dogs. There's so much more that goes into our decision to only have one child, but the fact that we both did not get along with our siblings is a factor.
ReplyDeleteyour brother sounds like a prince. i hope you've made it up to him.
ReplyDeletesugar and i are (tentatively) in the opposite camp: we are both only children who weren't/aren't overly fond of the experience. we haven't made any definite plans for the future AT ALL, but i think we're both faintly leaning towards more than one. but i'm glad we are getting to start with one. we'll see how that goes.
yeah, i can see how that experience would make you shy away from #2. im with bionic - hope you made it up to him! ;)
ReplyDeleteHoly heck, your brother sure was a sadist! Is he still? Or did he turn out to be a decent human being?
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I've always thought that older sisters are way worse as they can be so dang bossy. I bossed my little brother around all the time and made him do ridiculous and humiliating things. C has an older brother who is very protective of her, and my best friend M also has an older brother who really took care of her and was like a 2nd parent when her mom died. So there's that.
I think, realistically, that it's going to be hard for me and C to have more than one with the time and expense we've already invested in...0. I'd really like 3, but will settle for 2. Or 1, ha. In my opinion as a teacher, only children are weird. But plenty of non-only children are weird, too, so clearly there are other factors at play.
Even if you don't have a #2... little Speetus will be surrounded by furry companions. :)
ReplyDelete