TMI below
Ugh, No sooner had I written that last post than I went to pee, wiped saw...something. Discharge. Orangish. Bloody-ish. I had to meet a friend for drinks (just seltzer, please), could barely stand to sit there for the hour and a half, could barely muster a word to say. Thankfully, he is a good talker. He talked on and on and on, and I apologized, made excuses, went home. Speedy was at work and I didn't want to freak her out, so I didn't say anything. There was no more spotting when I got home, but a trace when I put in my progesterone for the night. A trace when I got up in the middle of the night to pee, though this was flecked with darker brown, and otherwise clearish. This morning, a little more, light brown.
I have been and still am, too nervous to celebrate this pregnancy (that is what it is, for now) yet. I have been so withdrawn physically from my love, not because I don't cherish her and lover her but because I do not trust my own body. I want to wrap it in tissue paper and put it in a box on a high shelf. This is so unlike me. I run. I lift heavy dumbells, bench press my own weight. I am tough. I broke my left fibula and never knew it until I got an xray for something else. I remember the pain that winter that I must have done it, but I kept running and when I couldn't, I biked.
But after this past January I am suddenly worried about any sudden movement, any untoward action.
So this spotting-- I know, I know, I know it is common. I know it might not mean anything. It might just be that the scan irritated my cervix, or something. But the last time I started spotting it soon turned into a weeklong flood. Today I am 5w1d or 4w6d, depending on whether you count from a normal 28-day cycle, unsped by F0lli$tim, or the actual sped-up 12 day ovulation. It is way. too. soon. to get too invested in this. That is my logical thought. But really right now I just want to go home and get in bed for the next 2 months until we're out of the danger zone.
P.S. Anyone having experiences similar to this, please let me know. While I know it is common, I still kind of want data, good or bad.
Getting wanded in early pregnancy is a sure fire way to irritate your cervix and cause a little bleeding in the days following it. It scared the crap out of me after our 7 week u/s, but I have two healthy babes due in the next 6 weeks. Doesn't mean I don't still check for blood though...
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed that that is all it is.
I can only imagine how you must feel, but I'm so sure that its 100% normal so don't let it get you too worried, everything will be fine!
ReplyDeleteNormal or not, I'm sure it's scary. I'm hoping all spotting stops right now and for your mind to find some peace.
ReplyDeletexo
Oh Shroe (can I call you Shroe?), intellectually you know that spotting is very normal and in fact, quite common. The evil P can totally mess with your lady bits. I got a raging persistent yeast infection from it, and I spotted after every dildo cam visit while preggo. After my OB insisted on a pap at 10 weeks I BLED. We're talking bright red, dripping off the table and onto the floor while I was in the stirrups. My baby will be 1 year old in 3 weeks.
ReplyDeleteHoping this is all worry for naught, but both the worry and the spotting are totally normal.
Although I can't offer any personal experience I do know that you happened to have been wanded right before this spotting. Logic points to the u/s for sure.
ReplyDeleteNutella has a good point about the evil P also - it's making me pretty irratated as well.
After all the time, money, effort (emotional and physical) how can we not worry though? Perfectly normal! Keep us updated.
Let me just reiterate the red sea that flowed out of V’s vajayjay a few weeks ago. The leftovers (TMI: all brown) are still coming out three weeks later, and we’ve had 2 or 3 ultrasounds in the interim. All is fine. Deep breath. When do you see the doctor again?
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone, for your reassuring comments. I will definitely keep you updated. Nutella, I did not know that about your pregnancy! While reassuring for me, it must have been terrifying for you.
ReplyDeleteOh, by the way, I love that I am "Schroe" in these parts. I am wondering if I can get people IRL to start claling me that ;-)
I am still going to the bathroom every 20 minutes to check... nothing to report, except that in all my up-and-down action today, I just noticed that there is a barely perciptible but definitely present GREASE STAIN on my chair from the Evil P. I am going to have to sneak in after hours and trade chairs with someone.
well, fuck. i know that no amount of reassurance that spotting is normal is going to totally ease your mind. rationality goes out the window with pregnancy, especially a pregnancy following a m/c! i hope the spotting ends soon and you get to enjoy this time.
ReplyDeletei was totally cautious and super careful with my body too - i was afraid a sudden movement would knock the little embryo loose!
I'm pretty sure I had exactly what you are describing. What stands out most is reading "orange" because I thought orange was an odd colour to see. Mine was orangey/brownish/rusty coloured and my RE said it was completely normal. This happened very early on - before 7 weeks which was my first viability scan.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has already said it best, so I will just add that I'm thinking of you. I remember saying to DW that I was both excited and terrified when we first got PG. Strange mix of emotions.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been through this personally, but can only imagine how scary it must be (even though totally normal). Hang in there. Definitely keeping you in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHah, switch desk chairs, yes!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it was frightening. Fortunately, we also had a visit with the dildocam 30 minutes later, so got reassurance.
I cannot say it any better than the others have. The head says "so what a little smear." The heart screams "panic, take cover, protect yourself!!" the heart is louder. I think you will feel better after a couple of positive ultrasounds. Until then just be gentle with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to keep sending good vibes to you and hope the spotting goes away. I'm so sorry you are spotting... sometimes I wonder why these things can't be easy.
ReplyDeleteEarly pregnancy is terrifying. I had no idea how terrifying until I experienced a little bit of it. And then, add a loss, and you just lose your shit. But hopefully this online world will show you that spotting is actually the NORM and not the exception. Especially after any activity such as a wanding. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Your betas are awesome---much much higher than last time. Let that be some comfort, if you can.
ReplyDeleteI am sure things are fine, spotting is normal in ealry pregnancy. even if it is normal, I understand it must be scary...so know that I will thinking of you all.
ReplyDeletei have a couple of things to say.
ReplyDelete1. you may have some "fire spots" on your cervix. i kid you not. my cervix has been bleeding for two months for no inexplicable reason except maybe excess yeast (thinks my midwife). it's entirely possible that the wanding triggered it. just remember, there is a LOT of blood flowing around there right now as your lining develops and your uterus expands.
2. s. got serious spotting around 7w or so when pregnant with Theo. it scared the shit out of us, so we insisted on another scan and everything was good.
3. any cramping? i think when spotting is accompanied by cramping, then we have a problem. so, just take it easy, be observant, and try to relax (ha ha ha - yeah right).
this does suck, though. i feel ya.
I'd bet money that it's from your date with the dildo cam. Up until my 14 week scan, I had spotting for a day or two on the day following my transvag ultrasound. You have rock star beta numbers. This is one sticky little embie you've got.
ReplyDeleteI completely sympathize, because I'm prone to worrying about things, and will probably spend the early part of pregnancy, if not the entire thing, at least mildly terrified. That being said, I think you're fine. From everything that I've heard/read, spotting is very common, and doesn't necessarily indicate any kind of problem. The grease stain, however, is annoying. Not worrisome, mind you, but annoying. I would definitely switch chairs too, ideally with someone you don't like so well, and/or someone who is not very observant.
ReplyDeleteI spotted, freaked out, and ran to the ER at around 13 weeks. I can tell you it's normal and scary, but knowing those two things doesn't really mean a whole lot when it's happening to you. That scare is so overwhelming, and it does change you, just like you describe. I hope the spotting stops soon, if it hasn't already, and that you start feeling like yourself again.
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