...Still nothin'. I'm only bloated because I ate a gallon of kim chee last night. I had a zit last week, but it's gone. I feel like my skin has never been clearer, the better to see my wrinkles. My b00bs are tender-- when I paddle them in frustration with wooden spoons.
I've been keeping track for the last 16 months. My longest cycle in that whole period was 29 days. I feel like this one is going to be 40+. Tomorrow I am going to wear white pants to work and NOT bring any emergency supplies. C'mon, Flo, you baby-blockin' b*tch!
Wooden spoons- *ouch*. Haven't I heard somewhere that stress keeps AF at bay? Maybe relaxing will help bring her along. May I get a bit personal and recommend sex as a kick in her pants? A fun and hopefully useful activity..
ReplyDeleteIt's always this way, ain't it. Perfect charting for months on end and the month it COUNTS...everything goes to pot. Sorry she's fuckin with ya.
ReplyDeletewow - you are my hero! Charting for 16 months! As a science writer there must be an article in there at least! Or a thesis!
ReplyDeleteAF is a slippery little biotch isn't she? She never fails to mess with us when we need her most.
Good plan with the pants and the no supplies! Should work like a charm!
"My b00bs are tender-- when I paddle them in frustration with wooden spoons."
ReplyDeleteOk this statement made me laugh out loud.
Of course when you want Flo to show, she never does. She's such a bitch!
Oh Tireegal-- you overestimate me... By "keeping track" I mean, "circling days on the calendar in red ink." I got about 3 days into temping before I realized I could not sustain such a thing... too many middle-of-the-night ups & downs with all the animals. I rarely get a full five hours uninterrupted. That's my excuse, anyway. Besides, with the high-intervention protocol, it seems unnecessary. I hope!
ReplyDeleteHoping for GREAT news from you soon!