Bot Powter, worm trap

Two weeks after the lights went out and I came to with bleeding and unidentified holes, I got the low-down from Dr. B.

It turns out I was supposed to go yesterday but no one called me and I had written it down wrong, so they squeezed me in this morning between 7 & 8, meaning I got there with fresh-from-the-shower wet hair at 7:30 after having singed my eyeball by grabbing the wrong contact lens solution in my morning blear. The good thing is that by the time the nurse called me in at 9, my hair had mostly dried and my eye had stopped spontaneously twitching and leaking.

Gf had to work, so it was just me & Dr. B., which means that he came from behind his desk to sit next to me, and i could see from the corner of my one functioning eye that he was wearing surgical booties on his feet (pre- or post-? Dunno.) An odd little detail that stuck in my mind.

He whipped out my now impressively fat file and said, "Well, I am sorry [gf] couldn't make it, but I am going to show you your pictures." At first I thought he meant pictures like those that Dr. K. had shown me, line drawings of uteri, photocopied within an inch of their lives, onto which little penciled notations would be made and explicated.

But no! These were full color, hi-res photographs of MY actual uterus as seen through the laparoscope two weeks ago. Apparently everything was as I had been led to believe: No heart-shaped, bicornuate uterus, but a septum that was snipped away, a small cyst on one of my f-tubes was removed, nbd, and there were some signs of "minimal endometriosis", nbd. Dr. B. loves to explain things. He might as well have been a high school biology teacher, but he'd be driving a VW Golf instead of his fancy Benz, so he probably made a good call. He went through every frame, pointing out ovaries, f-tubes, uterine lining, septum, etc.

While noting that my FSH levels were well within normal (9.2 on a scale of 3-12 normal; 15 being considered high) he did point out that my ovaries were showing sign of age and were looking a little involuted and fibrotic.

Short story: Schedule an FSH re-check in January, and then a follow-up to make sure that my uterine lining has regrown properly. After that, he said, we should be good to go.

Here's the rub. This always happens to me. I get all OCD abut planning something (a party, meeting someone, going to a g/d movie.... and so I get there like, HALF A YEAR EARLY. And now what?! I am stuck in a theater all by myself unscrambling stupid movie trivia word jumbles for half a year waiting for the show to start. Heaven forfend I miss the pepsi ads and previews!

But no I am not alone, gf is here. Or a block away, anyway, working like a good contributing citizen.

And I am not captive to some sadist's idea of pre-show entertainment. I am just living, and life itself what with the renos and gf freaking out in slo-mo over the move-in ("Where's my shampoo?? Where's my UNDERWEAR?!?") and the economy in the stinkpot, and the dying dog (who may not be dying any more, hard to say. She seems pretty happy today, anyway.) And the [adjective deleted] roommate who is here for another week while gf makes my dining room table into a dresser/desk/laundry bin/bookshelf/mailbox of sorts. And oh Mexico, where I am going with gf to spay and neuter dogs and cats in two weeks.

Yeah life is its own source of entertainment right now, but the thought of actually being biologically ready to have a baby in another 3 months then just waiting for July just because is gonna make me a little nuts. But but but there are REALLY good reasons, like

1) We will have just officially moved in to OUR space together. Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy it for a while (we have plans to implement a regular beer-and-stinky-cheese night for friends and neighbors, can't so much do that when yer knocked up and nauseous.)

2) IF it worked right away, like in March or April, I would be whale sized and waddling on Park Slope's treacherous sidewalks in the dead of winter, and the would suck huge eggs.

3) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX[redacted], but gf doesn't know that so I can't put it here.

So here I am, lights up, doing stupid movie trivia word jumbles. (For those playing along, the title of this post can be unscrambled to: Womb Report, part two.)