Holy Bazoombas Batman! (and gf's brush with the law)

Jzs Crst! (This is gf's mother's favorite expression, and she says it just like that, no vowels.)

Note to self for future "symptom checks" when actually ttc (not just pre-preparing like an over-eager high school student cramming for the MCATs.)
Sore boobs? Definitely not a pregnancy symptom.

My heretofore nonexistent-to-unremarkable PMS symptoms have apparently reversed course; abut 7 days before my period, my boobs balloon, become weighty and pendulous (pendulous! Before they barely acknowledged gravity and its pitiful extertions on their nearly mass-less existence!) and sore in that, "wait! let me move my boobs before you hug me" kind of way. So not fun. Gf is overly amused.

In other news:
I was cleared by gf to write about her most recent run-in with the law. (Oh yes! she may appear to be a sweet and nonthreatening veterinarian, but truly she is a menace to society.)

The latest example: Gf has, shall we say, a certain sluggishness of the system that occasionally plagues her. Her doctor told her to try taking those things that are an unholy hybrid of chewable vitamins, miniature hockey pucks and particle board.

A few days later she happened to be in Rite Aid doing some shopping with her 98-year-old family friend whom she takes care of, when she decided that rather than buy the things and then taste them, she would try them first, then decide whether to buy them or not. Look-- it's rough times in the financial world! You can't just be ging out and buying $15 stuff willy-nilly!

Well, shockingly, the taste test did not go favorably, and she proceeded to put the gigantic bottle of Fiber Pucks back on the shelf.

Her little old lady then procured whatever items she needed and paid at the register. Then, just as they were leaving, they were approached by a small man in a navy blue poly-blend uniform: "Ma'am, can you come with me please?"

Long story shorter, gf begged and pleaded, paid for the bottle and got sent home with a warning (plus her picture is probably taped on the wall of the security room).

But seriously!-- of course she got caught-- this is a woman who spent the night in jail because of a seatbelt crime, for godssake! (What, you thought I was kidding about her being a menace to society?)

I may be going out on a limb here, but if you are a teen and get caught shoplifting condoms it's one thing-- however, if you are a woman of a certain age grown woman getting caught boosting Fiber Pucks, it's really a sign that it's time to call an end to your days of petty crime...