U-tube

Dr. B. himself called me at 8:30 to cancel today's appointment ("in light of your HSG results") so I could reschedule with the top dude, who performs all the surgeries.

[sound of a record scratching]

"Surgeries?"
"Given your HSG results we will perform a diagnostic surgery. You may have a bi-cornuate uterus, in which case we do nothing (pause) But I suspect you have a uterine septum, in which case we could perform a procedure to remove the septum."

Awww, dude. That isn't fun.

So whatchyer sayin' is, basically, either

"Your womb? Totally FUBAR! You best hatch yer eggs elsewhere." (GF?! Are you listening?!)

or,

"Yeah, we'll just cut you up a little-- don't worry your pretty little head about it. It's elective (i.e., your insurance won't no-how no-way cover it) but if you do it (and you WILL do it if you want a family in your future) you'll be better in NO TIME-- back on your feet in five to seven days!"

Grrrr.

So, tomorrow they are gonna stick a tiny camera into my uteri to see wassup in there. There may be a little pokin' and scrapin' to boot, no one knows. The appointment is several hours before gf herself undergoes her own surgical-requiring-anesthesia procedure that I am supposed to be picking her up from. We're gonna be a pair of pathetic bleeders tomorrow night.

Didya notice the, ummm, tenser I get, the more I lapse into ain't-no-thang kinda writing style? It's a big, pathetic, fake front. I AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.

Medical note: Here are what we are trying to distinguish between (thanks, eMedicine!):

I have either a...

bicornuate uterus: A bicornuate uterus results from partial nonfusion of the müllerian ducts. The central myometrium may extend to the level of the internal cervical os (bicornuate unicollis) or external cervical os (bicornuate bicollis). The latter is distinguished from didelphys uterus because it demonstrates some degree of fusion between the 2 horns, while in classic didelphys uterus, the 2 horns and cervices are separated completely. In addition, the horns of the bicornuate uteri are not fully developed; typically, they are smaller than those of didelphys uteri. Some patients are surgical candidates for metroplasty.

or...

septate uterus: A septate uterus results from failure of resorption of the septum between the 2 uterine horns. The septum can be partial or complete, in which case it extends to the internal cervical os. Histologically, the septum may be composed of myometrium or fibrous tissue. The uterine fundus is typically convex but may be flat or slightly concave (<1-cm>Women with septate uterus have the highest incidence of reproductive complications. Differentiation between a septate and a bicornuate uterus is important because septate uteri are treated by using transvaginal hysteroscopic resection of the septum, whereas if surgery is possible and/or indicated for the bicornuate uterus, an abdominal approach is required to perform metroplasty.