Southern Brides

One of my favorite people got married over the weekend, to a wonderful woman. Their happiness together was palpable from the minute they met. I have never seen anyone smile so much as the two of them the first weekend I saw them together.

Gf and I drove down to West Virginia (home of gun racks, confederate flags and bumper stickers proclaiming "Hogs Smell Better Barbecued!") for the rehearsal dinner, then attended the wonderful ceremony (in Maryland.) The long, long trip, the rain, the getting lost and the dank-smelling accommodations were all well worth it for us to witness (through the haze of our teary smiles) their wedding. At the end of the ceremony (which was religious, but inoffensively so, even for my atheist little heart), the pastor turned to the audience and said, "I present to you Christy and Maria, unlawfully wedded wives," starting gf's and my happy-tears flowing afresh.*

We spent the reception drinking wine, dancing and chasing the children through the dark playing glo-stick tag, as the only grown-ups who were unabashed to act like overgrown children in silk dresses (our heels hastily discarded in the reception tent). It was wonderful.

Got back to the terrible news about David Foster Wallace. Just sad. Yes. I never read Infinite Jest in its entirety, as I encountered it in college when it was a status symbol amongst a certain strain of parasitic young men with long hair and unendurable pretensions... but many years later I came upon The Broom of the System and remember reading it with much hilarity and enjoyment during the otherwise miserable months I spent writing my thesis. I am sad for those he left behind, sad for the loss to the literary world and am just glad that whatever demons tormented him in life were stopped cold by his death.

*I am coming from a uniquely privileged position. I live in NYC. Most of my friends are lgbt. Everyone I know is supportive. My family, after an their collective sharp uptake of breath when I first came out, collectively shrugged. Despite my annoyance with the law, I have to say it has a relatively minor impact on my life overall. I am lucky to be so privileged in my personal life. Ceremonies like this one that celebrate love and commitment with a rueful shake-of-the-head at the law, are inherently privileged. It is, nonetheless, a complete travesty of justice that DOMA looms over us all even as we celebrate our loves and lives.

The photo above was taken at their engagement party, about a year and a half ago. Gf's camera has al the wedding pictures and has not been downloaded yet.