Yep, yep & yep. Tbean is right. This must be the beginning of the aftershocks. I keep trying to intellectualize it: I AM happy that we have Jacques on deck. I AM happy that the 34h iui worked. But shit, I'm cranky as hell and don't want to do anything except watch more Dexter (thus, the real reason we don't have a TV, because I am like a rat on crack, pushing the lever again and again... At least with Netflix, the inventory is limited.)
My job just laid off seven people: Surprise! Happy Friday folks, pack your desk and don't come back! They say it's not financial, but for "efficiency" but one can't help to wonder where they might find more efficiency the next time.
I don't even like my job, but we do need it. I think. I guess we'd find a way to survive and I could get a new one, but good god, with the ttc and the unsold apartment I have enough going on right now.
And I'm pissed that this so-called pregnancy (BFM) is throwing us out of the game for a month. I am really pisdsed about that because I just want to get right back in.
Sorry I have been a bad commenter lately. I'll get back with the program, I promise.
Bummer about your coworkers and that you have to sit out a cycle. You're fierce, though, so you'll get through it!
ReplyDeleteEvery loss hurts: no exceptions. I am sorry that things are hard right now. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteTry to enjoy this cycle out - if you can. Have a glass of wine... better yet - have the whole damn bottle! Seriously... take advantage of this time off and give your body the break.
ReplyDeleteThat really sucks about your co-workers. Remember, no matter what happens, you both will be just fine. As Pome put it in her comment above - you ladies are fierce!
Hang in there - we're all pulling for you over here in blogland!
It all sucks. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Indulge in Dexter - a tv binge isn't going to hurt anything right now and zoning out might be what you need.
ReplyDeletexo
Not much to say but that I'm sorry, really. Do whatever you need to do, even watch hours of good tv, to get through it. xo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the BFM. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteDon't even worry about being a bad blogger. I'm sorry things are sucky right now. I second your ferocity and indulgence in all things that make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteso frustrating, and I hear you on the tv-binge, there must be something about crime dramas that numbs the brain..
ReplyDeleteThought of you as Tam and I watched 2 episodes of Dexter today. We're slowly working our way through season 1.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Shroe - that really sucks about sitting one out. I completely understand, as soon as I get the negative I'm ready to go again. Take that time though - indulge in all the Dexter, swordfish and brie you want. :)
ReplyDeleteJacques is up on deck!
This is the biggest downfall of bring highly monitored--you know everything. Without it, you would just go to the gym and off to Philly (well maybe not with the snow...) and be on your way to "next month".
ReplyDeleteBut now you know and you have to feel it and deal with it... And it's hard and painful.
I'm sorry it didn't work. But you CAN get pregnant and you will.
Try to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Loss is hard. So, so hard. Be good to yourself right now, you deserve every sort of indulgance and pampering.
ReplyDeleteHello, gosh I have been so bad with my blogging lately and had missed your news this week.
ReplyDeleteI had exactly the same experience (as many do apparently) and it just gives you the poops because not only are you not pregnant but the bleeding is worse than normal and for me the cramps were too. And what a bum that you can't try again straight away. That really stinks.
Hope you start feeling better. Enjoy some vino and soft cheese. Binge on TV and lots of other bad things.
And ps sorry to hear about the cr_p going down at work.
I wish I had more to say than just I’m sorry, but for what it’s worth, I am so sorry about the BFM and the missed month. I know how hard it is to sit out a cycle. We found our break to be wonderful, but it was just waiting for the new year, rather than your reason, so I’m sure yours will be harder. We’re thinking of you guys and looking forward to the actual bfp, or maybe the bfsp (big fat sticky positive). xo
ReplyDeleteI've missed so much. I'm sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI had a chemical pregnancy in July '08 and it was so hard that I took a 4 month break from TTC.
It sucks you have to take the month off but good to hear you're ready to jump right back into trying.
I know where you're coming from...had almost the exact same thing myself. A kind of pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with your next shot - may that crazy dice roll in your favour