Back in town

Gf & I visited my parents in VT over Christmas and while in VT I was incommunicado, being too paranoid to leave digital footprints of my blogging life for my family to trace on their computer-- they have no idea that gf & I are pre-ttc and I'd like to keep it that way until and unless it becomes obvious.

Catching up on everyone's blogs I was much saddened to learn than all my hopeful thoughts were not terribly successful in producing BFPs this month. I feel it's a bit disingenuous for me to exhort anyone going through it to stay positive just because I do not personally have the experience with the chronic disappointments of one BFN after another, much less the devastation of an m/c. I wish I could send boxes full of hope and optimism to these ladies for whatever their next steps are.

Did anyone out there plan in advance where to draw the line? How many IUIs before IVF? Whether IVF was an option at all? How far to go with IVF before moving on to whatever next step (partner's uterus, adoption, etc?) Does anyone think that these are things you CAN plan for without first experiencing the ttc process itself?
Seems like lots of hard news in ttc land this month, and the holidays have a way of making every BFN thud with that much more gravity.

I don't have any news other than that gf and I have entered into a pre-ttc frenzy of things-to-do-before-we-get-down-to-bizness:

1) Finish renos
2) Sell my apartment (lovely 2BR in park slope if anyone's interested)
3) Move into our lovely newly renovated home
4) Organize our photos
5) Go to Madagascar

A modest list of things to tick off in the next 6 months. Any advice is welcome, particularly with respect to no. 5 which has long been on my lifetime to-do list and recently got bumped up to the to-do-now list with just a couple of words of encouragement from gf.

(The gist of the entire conversation was thus: Gf, humming along to Cher in the car as I drove: "You know, we should probably go to Madagascar BEFORE you get knocked up. Otherwise it will be years." Me: "Okay! When's rainy season there?")

Christmas (gf's first, as she is of the Jewish people) was with my family in VT which, with the exception of a stress-induced first-night migraine on gf's part and melt-down on my part, was uneventful verging of pulling-your-fingernails-out-just-to-watch-them-bleed boring. Walks in the cold, cold woods with a pack of dogs, feeding the llamas and horses, cooking, playing Scrabble. Plans for skiing were scrapped when the snow turned icy and then melty.

We returned to NYC via Boston, having dinner with an old high school friend of mine who lives there and then brunching with college friends of gf's who also ended up there, then Jersey to see gfs family, who packed a lifetime's worth of dynamics and power plays into about 45 minutes while I stuffed my face with kim chee and latkes.

We drove home and fell into bed after a mere hour of looking for parking, then walking and feeding the beasts, cleaning and unpacking. Strangely, other than the foul odor and sheer exhaustion of spending that many hours in a car with that many dogs, the drive itself was lovely. I am still amazed, after a year, that gf and I can chatter happily for hours.

IN other news....
Right now, there is a lady who is bringing a new boy into the world as I type and I and sending her all the thoughts of power and strength and courage I can...