Things have been hard lately.
I am so so so tired.
And sometimes so so so weak and sad I feel like I can't get myself off the floor.
I am afraid that we will have this baby and lose ourselves.
I am afraid that things are just going to get harder.
That is where I am right now.
This should be a joyful time and all I am is scared.
me too, with the tired and scared. But I am blaming the hormones. And I don't think you will lose yourselves, so much as find yourselves complete.
ReplyDeleteChin up.
Sending you hugs. There will always be hard days, but there will always be wonderful ones, too. Just take each day as it comes and hang in there as best you can.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie. Things will change. In the beginning I mourned the life we used to have, but I can't imagine my life being any different than it is right now. Your life starts to take on a new normal. It will all be okay, it just takes some time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are having such a hard day. Sending hugs from here.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine that being pregnant is pretty damn terrifying. I'm sorry you're in that place today, but I know that you're surrounded by lots of love, which will get you through.
ReplyDeleteIt is totally hard. But it's also joyful. For every bad day, there are many great ones. Also, hormones are a hell of a thing. Here's to a brighter tomorrow. {{{}}}
ReplyDeleteHormones are evil, aren't they? I'm having the same kind of day. Just woke up depressed. No way around it, no way out of it. Things WILL change but I haven't found a person yet that would take it back.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, friend. I know it will get better but I also know how hard it can be to count on that.
ReplyDelete**hugs**
ReplyDeletehang in there. it is hard, no doubt. but it is also amazing in ways you cant imagine. you are going to do great!
Im sorry you're going through such a hard time. Everything will work itself out, and even if your relationship changes it will be for the better.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are feeling so awful. Feeling scared, exhausted, and totally overwhelmed is definitely part of the process...not the good part. Having a baby is also one of the hardest things your relationship will go through, but not all the time. Other times you will feel great. I am saying all this from a rather low point too, but it really does pass. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSending bear hugs aplenty your way. Sorry that you are feeling scared and very tired. I commend you for being brutally honest and sharing those feelings with us readers. No worries, good feelings and thoughts will return again :)
ReplyDeleteIt's odd. I was having some similar thoughts a few days ago.... Sort of a "what were we thinking" train of thought (and I don't even have pg hormones sending my head there). I think it's ok to realize that you had a great life and relationship pre-pg and that life will now change. There's a familiar life to grieve. But I am telling myself (and I believe this) that we chose this path because even with all our happiness at being a family of 2, something was missing. Even happy life changes come with stress-- no shame in that.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel like this but am selfishly glad to know I'm not the only one. The difference, of course, is that I know you're underestimating yourself and are in fact terrifically strong and capable, where as I actually *do* have all the problems you cite ;)
ReplyDeletexoxo
I think we're unused to hearing feelings like this expressed on the blogs, because we're all trying so damn hard to get pregnant here. But I think feeling panic/dread/sadness during pregnancy is veeerrrrry normal. You're about to go through a massive life change, lady! I hope you're out of your funk soon, but don't kick yourself for one minute for having these feelings.
ReplyDeletei screamed in S.'s face then ran to cry on the bathroom floor for 20 minutes to get away from her. i was a freaking mess. all the same thoughts you are having, i had. i had them at many points after theo was born, too. hang in there. this, too, shall pass, but it does take two to do it with any sense of aplomb. it might be scruffy and rough, but you'll get through it, the two of you.
ReplyDeleteI don't have the hormones but I do have the fear. I think it's better to acknowledge the fear, and the grief for a stage of life that is passing away, than to keep it locked up in an effort to put on a good show.
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby is, I think, a leap of faith. (I don't mean that in a religious way, although nothing against those who do.) I think you *will* lose yourselves a bit. I think we all will. That's what leaping does. But what I've generally found, at the other end of those leaps, is myself, only a little bit more so. I have to trust that this will turn out the same.
The joy will come back. In the meantime, just breathe. Sometimes that's the best thing I can tell myself, just to keep breathing.
I'm sorry things are rough and hope they start to look a little better soon. In the meantime take care of yourself. Kia kaha e hoa (stay strong my friend).
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. I'm sure its just due to hormones. It will get better and you'll be back to feeling yourself in no time.
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of big hugs
sending love from England ... i hope your days get better xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're feeling shitty, Schroe. My only advice is that from what I can tell, being scared and exhausted are completely normal, and that they soon, will pass. All of my warmest and calmest feelings are being passed your way. xo.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that things have been rough going. It can be super overwhelming at times for sure. You're not alone in feeling this way, if that's any consolation. I'm hoping you're getting lots of rest & taking good care of yourself & treating yourself often, whatever your definition of treat may be. Thinking of you. Xo
ReplyDeleteMy wife is struggling with the same things right now. You are not alone. xo
ReplyDeleteHi there, I am new to your blog.. thank you for your honesty. I was once there many years ago (11), and it will get better. I am now going into fear now! I am newly pregnant again and I am scared to death of what the heck am I thinking. Take care and like many have said it will get better...
ReplyDelete