It was my first night away from both of them ever. I have always prided myself on being independent, to the point of infuriating my significant others, past and present. I did not grow up believing in or searching for The One. I loved being single (especially when I figured out the appropriate gender with which to spend my nights back in my wild days). But this was my first time being not single but alone. Did I go out to the best bar in town and savor a solitary glass of wine? Curl up on the couch with my stack of unread New Yorkers? Zone out watching YouTube videos of kittens? Take a hot bath and give myself a mani-pedi? No, I did not.
I panicked.
I spent nearly the entire time they were away on the Sisyphean task of tracking down and organizing digital photos of our lives together. I salvaged photos from three wrecked hard drives and enlisted the help of a kind professional computer geek and iPhoto Library Manager to wrangle the digital diaspora of our history into an organized format. I called Stinky every 40 minutes and demanded reports. I forgot to eat and then ate only a freezer-burned bagel, being too despondent to go out and buy actual food. I drank an entire bottle of wine. I forgot to go to bed, and when I finally crashed, I could not sleep.
It turns out I have lost my talent for being single.
The Boy and Stinky, however, had a wonderful time. Above: a photo-- already uploaded and categorized-- of The Boy and two of his cousins. He idolizes them and spent the day in pure rapture, kicking balls and running with the big boys.
Heh. I usually don't like being alone, although sometimes it's nice. The wife has been in a rehearsal period for her show that opened last weekend so I've been handling bedtimes by myself for a while and then there's 3 hours between then and the time she comes home that I've spent alone many nights. It definitely got to me sometimes. One night off though? Try to enjoy it more next time ;)
ReplyDeleteStrawberry, you're right! I have learned my lesson: time unbounded by mandatory naps and meals is apparently too much for me to handle these days. Next time, I will carefully schedule pleasant activities to break it up...and hopefully maybe I will be able to enjoy myself instead of choking on the Great Hairball of Anxiety the whole time.
DeleteI have yet to spend a night away from my kids, but I imagine I'd probably be just as thrown off as you were. The few times I've dropped the kids off at daycare and then taken a day off from work have always been a frenzy of chores, rather than sitting out in the sun with a good book and a coffee. My wife says that she never sleeps as horribly as she does in hotel rooms when she's away from us. Crazy that we moms long for some peace and quiet, but then when we actually get it we're unable to relax. I think it's a good idea to plan some activities in advance- get tickets for something, or make dinner arrangements with friends. Sometimes you've just got to force yourself to relax.
ReplyDeleteColl offered to take Buggie to visit her folks for a weekend and I said no because I'd be too sad. Then later of course I wished I had let her! I hear you though. Next time you'll be better prepared :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry you weren't able to enjoy your alone time! I think V has only spent one night away from the kids. I'm away fairly often and as much as I miss them - and I do! and it's hard to leave - I also enjoy the alone time, I must say. It's just nice to go to dinner w/o worrying about who is behaving.
ReplyDeleteRe: the Boy's artwork. I sympathise. We have a new mantra in our house that goes something like this: do we play with bubbles in the house? No, we do not.