The Boy has been sleeping with us for the better part of a year now. In that time, he has grown into a thrashing, punching, kicking, biting
It's funny, because prior to The Boy's debut, I was totally pro-sleep-training for me and everyone else. But the fact is, I am not there yet. Maybe I will get there, if what we are doing doesn't work. But not now. And hopefully what we are doing will work.
What we are doing is in no small part owing to Speedy's vet training and my own long history with dogs and dog training. It's a modified version of crate-training. Make the crate a happy place. Let them spend increasing amounts of time in it when you are near. Play with them in it. Reassure them that it is not a place to be afraid of. Make good associations. And slowly lengthen the periods they spend in it. At first with you, then, for brief interludes, when you step away. Then longer, and longer. Until you can leave them in it more or less as long as you want them to be in it without them feeling abandoned or scared.
So lately, when The Boy falls asleep, instead of tucking him in bed next to me at 7:30 p.m. (I was getting lots of reading done, but little else) I wait until he's good and knocked out and then I put him in his crib. At first he'd wake up and fight. I'd take him out, nurse him some more, put him back. Then he'd just wake up and whine a bit, then start idly playing by himself until he was overcome with sleepiness and he would sag against the rails. Now, I can put him in there for...well, a while. And he just opens his eyes, sighs, and goes back to sleep. The longest stretch to date (this is day 5) has been an hour and a half. And it seems to be working. Every night it is a little longer. Today we even got a few stretches in at his two nap times.
This means he is sleeping less because we spend a lot of time taking him out and putting him back in, and when he is awake, he wants to get up rather than go back in the crib. So he is crabby and tired, but I expect this will be a temporary phase as I hope he will spend more and more time in there and be less and less perturbed by waking up there...
This is very, very exciting, because it has been about a year since I have had quality time in my own bed without him or my pregnant belly getting between me and good sleep. And I miss it. Truly. And I miss Speedy. Fingers crossed that this continues on the current trajectory to well-rested bliss...
P.S. On the Dom and totally loving it.
Sounds like you're off to a great start. We are 16 months into our co-sleeping relationship that started at 4 months old. Where you are right now was when things got really difficult. It was around 9-10 months old when I was pulling my hair out - chained to the bed during her sleep schedule (naps too). It was really tough and I'm surprised we got through it. Sooo... Sleep train now, before it gets worse. It's only been since 15 or 16 months old that I've had any sleep freedom. Now it's good because she can get out of bed on her own and come and get us if there is an issue. I love co- sleeping and all but I think next time it won't happen. (;
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I'll be reading closely to hear how this goes!
ReplyDeleteoh honey-badgers they are hard to "train" - we have been sleep training ours and despite the fact that it was downright painful for me to hear her cry, our issue was 101 night wakings so it had to happen and now, oh glorious night. She puts herself to sleep with some rolling around and lovey-snuggling (but no crying!). The freedom is amazing!
ReplyDeleteWe have managed to sleep train our son (who was a very similar sort of sleeper) without leaving our son to cry because I'm just a softy and couldn't (and still can't) handle it. He coslept with me/us until he was about 19 months, and now he always sleeps in his crib, and mostly through the night (an occasional wake up happens, but we'll comfort him for a minute or just sit by his crib, and he goes back to sleep). So it's totally possible, and we actually did a lot of what you're doing. It was less sleep for us initially, but it worked out pretty well, especially once we stopped taking him out of his crib when he woke up. That was the hardest, but he's gotten very good about taking a little comfort through the rails and falling back to sleep. I have high hopes that you'll continue on a positive trajectory!
ReplyDeleteHa! I love that you're using the concept of crate-training on the Boy. I think its a great idea and would probably do the exact same thing with my kid!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, having met this kid a few times I have NO IDEA how you co-sleep with him. He's always on the move! But it sounds like you're definitely moving in the right direction. Col never crate trained Samba when she was a puppy and we both regretted it later. Hopefully we won't make the same mistake with Buggie :-)
ReplyDeleteI remember that. Sleep deprivation...yuck. We slept with each of the girls for about a year and then ended up doing a sort of modified sleep training in which they did have some serious crying which stressed everyone out but was in reality brief. :(
ReplyDeleteI like your idea better. Pet training ideas are often very useful with small children.
First of all, C and I are still laughing at the honey badger video. Snort! So funny.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, good on ya for the crate/crib training. 3ish hours sounds dee-frickin-lightful, and I know things will only get better from here. The time with Speedy will be so awesome. Yes, C and I are so stoned tired most nights all we do is watch an old Star Trek and crash (oh, and pump), but it's our time and I love it.
So glad this is going well! Crate training is a great parallel. Hope the Boy is snoozing away in his crib as I type this. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, yes, a great start. We are in your boat. That is, we also have a baby who nurses every couple of hours and sleeps in our bed and I would also like to change that and we are starting to work on it...so I'm heartened to hear about your progress! Major props. It's hard. I think it's the hardest thing, this whole sleep business.
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