Here's a quick post and an urgent question, because of all annoying things about being back at work, one of the worst is that they actually want me to work. What kind of BS is that?!
First: the urgent question: How does one prevent one's milk supply from dropping precipitously when going back to work? I have been pumping 3x a day at work but have already seen a decline. Also: As The Boy grows he will require more milk: how do I make more to compensate? I only have enough in the freezer to provide MAYBE an additional few ounces for a few weeks at most. (I have about 25 bags at 3 -4 oz. each)
But. Here is my Day Three truth: Going to work sucks. Leaving Speedy and The Boy sucks. Waking up at 4 to feed him and thinking I only have 2 more hours to sleep sucks. (My first day back I got to go in late because I had to drop The Boy off at the nanny share, and the nanny does not come in until ten. Usually I am supposed to be here at nine, though I am lucky enough to have a boss who doesn't really care.) Pumping in the office of the receptionist who died while I was out sucks. Obsessing about my milk supply sucks.
In a word, it sucks.
There are good points: listening with growing comprehension to the news on my way in (Though I swear my brain is going much slower than the news, so I probably only absorb about a third of it. It doesn't help that the biggest story in the news requires a passing knowledge about nuclear physics, information I left behind a long time ago in the bin of grad school notebooks.) Showering daily. A routine of sorts.
I have been inducted into the secret world of working moms-- the women who never exchanged more than a cordial hello with me and now beckoning me into their coffices and cubicles to share whispered confidences about working and babies and pumping. And I want to connect but I don't want to talk about it, becasue I am afraid if I do I will lose it.
Speedy sends me pictures of the sleeping boy and I just want to leave everything and go home to them (she doesn't have to go to work until 11:30 most days, so she gets him after I leave and before the nanny.)
This is the reality right now. If I was eager to get off this ride before, now I am desperate!
It does suck. The first week sucks big time. And I'm all for owning the suckitude, but I promise it will get easier. It'll never be more fun to be at work instead of with your sweet baby, especially if you were already not really feeling your job in the first place. But it will get better, especially once you are getting a full night's sleep. Sending lots of hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteWhat is your pump? If your supply is already suffering, definitely invest in renting a hospital grade pump. More milk, less time, etc. Drink more. Pump 5-10 minutes after you are empty and not seeing milk come out anymore. Good luck, that s such a helpless feeling.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was aweful to leave my babe and work and pump. My advice comes with the caveat that my supply issues were always an issue to start with, being on the low side, and my body HATED pumping. My supply dropped down when I had to work. It helped me to pump more frequently than 3 hours, but mostly it helped to nurse at 11pm and 2am, since (I was told) 11-4am are the times your nursing hormones can be best stimulated. In the end I supplemented with formula - I had to - but kept nursing as well until the first was one, and the second was two. Good luck with it all.
ReplyDeleteYep, sounds pretty shitty. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now :( Sending supportive vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteoh Im so sorry, from what I have heard, the first week is the worst. We are starting to tackle the issue this week as I am going back to the office one day (tomorrow!!). At this point, I am actually looking forward to it, but I am sure I will be a wreck tomorrow...no advice on the pumping issue, but I am curious to hear what others say..
ReplyDeleteI don't have any words of advice, but I'm sorry it sucks so bad.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do wish is that our country made it a little (lot) easier for working moms and gave women adequate maternity time. It's just not right.
I hope it gets better. It has to, right?
I agree with Pufferfish. I wish we had better policies since the onces in place now are brutal. I am sorry things are rough. I hope that things will be getting better soon.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and hoping it gets better soon.
ReplyDeletesending you a big hug. going back to work SUCKS for sure. i cried and cried and cried. (hell, i still cry sometimes - i hate leaving my babies to go sit in an office for 9 hours)
ReplyDeleteare you nursing at night, like one of the previous commenters asked? i co-slept w/Bird until she was 10.5 months old and she basically nursed all night long. i loved the extra bonding time, since i was away all day, and i do think it helped keep my supply up.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with this, and it's very understandable. I remember when Nutella went back to work...she was so frequently sad about having to be removed our son all day. And then when I went back to work after my leave, well, I'll be honest, I was relieved, but I still felt bad about feeling like someone else was raising my kid. It did get better, especially as he got older and we could see just how much he was benefiting from the daycare environment, structure, and interaction. Like all things, it needs time, but I'm sure there will still be hard days. Hang in there as best you can. Sadly, working, for so many people, is not a choice they can afford to give up.
ReplyDeleteAny chance you can work from home one day per week? V is home Tuesdays, I'm home Fridays, and it's my favorite day. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYep, being a working mom sucks. I won't say that it gets easier necessarily, but you get used to it. Sort of. I second the co-sleeping as a way to get your milk supply up. I noticed an increase when my son decided that I was his all night buffet. Also, making sure all the parts on your pump are new and intact can help. If the membranes are old, or if the tubes are stretched out, that can have a negative impact on supply.
ReplyDeleteNot sure this works but thought I'd pass along the tip for increasing milk production from a message board:
ReplyDeleteHey ladies,
I'm from the April 08' and Feb 11' boards and want to pass on an awesome tip to up your breast milk supply! This actually works and was given to me by my sister (whom is a midwife). Other women on my board have already seen a difference and I want to share! You can find the thread here to see there thoughts:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a26772801/want_to_increase_your_milk_supply?cpg=1&csi=2315698071&pd=-4
Here is the simple recipe:
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup sweetened condenced milk
1 avocado
(You only need to drink half but, avocados go bad fast so you can drink half one day and the rest the next) Good Luck and hope this helps! : )
i'm sorry things are sucking so much. i hope it gets easier soon.
ReplyDelete